Room 324, Tuesday Afternoon

[wwiii]

Okay. Things. There were things happening, and Warren needed to... to do something about them. Frat had been skipped last week because of the holiday, and this week, after losing his entire world, he just hadn't had it in him to coordinate anything resembling fun and games. He'd meant to go to the library to help research over the weekend, and that hadn't happened, and he couldn't really remember the last time he'd eaten, though he was vaguely aware of stumbling off to raid common room fridges at least a couple of times in there.

It was stupid. He hadn't so much as thought about going home in the past two years, and now that it was gone...

He needed to be doing things, but he had no idea where to start. So he just kind of cuddled Thor and stared at the ceiling.

When had moping in his room alone with a bunny become the status quo, anyhow?

[Open post, closed door, IDEK. Someone smack him or something.]

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[dollpocalypse]

And lo, a knock on the door!

From someone who didn't quite respect the courtesy of waiting once he'd knocked, because now he was coming inside anyway. Say hi to Topher, Warren!

"Hi."

Topher was boooooored, you see.

[wwiii]

"... Hi?"

Warren hadn't really been expecting anyone, except maybe Karla, so the person knocking and inviting himself in had been a little bit of a surprise, even more of a surprise when he sat up and saw who had welcomed himself into his room.

Oh, god. It was here to eat him.

[dollpocalypse]

It? Real nice, Warren.

Topher, who had mainly come by because he had nothing to do and wanted to recruit a video game partner (and had come to entirely the wrong place), attempted to devise something to say. And settled on: "Cool bunny."

Well, he was a cool bunny.

[wwiii]

That was... some conversation starter, right there. Warren blinked down at Thor, who twitched his nose up at the both of them, and then he gave his shoulders a shrug.

"He's pretty cool, yeah. He's the one Bobby picked up when we all went drinking."

Thor was an awesome bunny. Who had a hammer.

[dollpocalypse]

"He hasn't eaten your wings," Topher observed, tilting his head at Thor. "Huh."

Topher, not everyone wanted to eat Warren's wings.

[wwiii]

Oh, Topher.

"... Yeah. Only weird people chew on people's wings, Topher. Rabbits are not weird people."

So far as Warren was aware.

[dollpocalypse]

"In times of distress," Topher reported, "parrots, cockatoos, macaws and cockatiels will pick at and even consume their own wings."

True story.

[wwiii]

Warren's mouth hung open for a minute, there.

No. No, he wasn't going to even think about that one. He was totally human with maybe a few physical differences, but...

"I am not a parakeet," he intoned, pulling the bunny to his chest. "And neither is Thor. So we don't really have that problem, thanks."

[dollpocalypse]

"I didn't say you were," Topher pointed out. "You don't eat your wings, do you? 'Cause that would indicate that maybe you were a cockatoo or something. They've got the whole -- white feathery thing."

This was him trying to help.

[wwiii]

"... You're kidding, right? I mean, I get weird about eating chicken wings if I think about it too hard. I'm not really a wing-eating kind of guy."

The crazy thing was, this conversation, while weird and possibly a little frustrating, was doing a wonderful job of distracting him from the rest of what was, er, eating at him.

[dollpocalypse]

PUNNY!

"Oh." Topher shrugged. "Huh."

A beat.

"You don't like chicken wings at all? 'Cause Tony said if I ever do science on you, I'm supposed to buy you pizza or wings."

[wwiii]

Warren was making the mental note to throttle Tony, now. Which was also not moping!

"... Tony said it was okay to 'do science' on me?"

For wings?

[dollpocalypse]

Topher thought back, scrunching up his face to remember.

"If you say it's okay," he recalled. "I'm not allowed to kidnap you."

He maybe sounded just the faintest bit disappointed. Just a tiiiiiny bit.

[wwiii]

"I... would almost like to know how in the world you think you'd go about kidnapping me in the first place," Warren admitted, after a moment.

Because he was stupid.

[dollpocalypse]

Topher thought that over.

"Are you allergic to any medications?"

[wwiii]

"Nope."

Except, arguably, to the mutant cure. But that didn't exist anymore, did it?

[dollpocalypse]

"I could tranq you, then," Topher proposed. "That work?"

[wwiii]

"If it works at all, it wouldn't work for long," Warren pointed out. "And then you'd have to drag me to wherever, without people noticing.

Which would be hilarious, if it didn't conjure images of Topher trying to tug him across the ground by one wing or something.

[dollpocalypse]

"I could use a sheet or something," Topher pointed out. "Or a cart or something. Or I could get Kenzi to do it. She's a professional."

It was a good thing Topher lacked the capability to sound actually threatening, or else this might come off as a little scary.

[wwiii]

Well. That got a blink out of Warren, there.

"A... professional kidnapper?"

But Warren ate Karla's cookies! He was indispensable!

[dollpocalypse]

"A professional thief." Silly Warren. "Oooh, she could probably help hot-wire your... Wasp... thing."

Bee, Topher. It was called the Bee.

[wwiii]

"The Bee?" It was sad that even Warren was calling it that, now. "You know Tony's got some pretty crazy security measures on that thing, right?"

Just making sure that Topher wasn't going to get anyone killed in the name of science.

[dollpocalypse]

"He was supposed to let me help," Topher complained irritably. "But then Karla was all 'no lasers' and 'no flying ninja swords' and now someone with Kenzi's skills could probably manage it."

All because of the lack of flying ninja swords. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

[wwiii]

Warren was making the mental note: Get Tony to put in flying ninja swords.

"Why are you so bent on poking at me, anyhow? I spent half my life being prodded at by doctors, Topher. You really don't need to get in on their shtick, too."

[dollpocalypse]

"You did?" Topher perked up. "Like how? Can I see their data?"

Well. Not if they didn't exist.